I had lost some things along the way. I ventured through areas of torment and suffering, paying dues. . . paying with what I had incubated in my consciousness; priceless; stumbling to land there.
I am not alone in this loss–wouldn’t you agree?
The untouchable balance of Yin and Yang, when challenged, casts an invitation by some psychic beacon to lure whatever presence is wandering the void of dimensional space-time.
As my weakness allowed, a deeper darkness masterfully found refuge in my own rotted cavities where the goodness, wonder and innocence had been ripped or snatched, or perhaps withered in some nightmare I wasn’t equipped to control–I had become the host for that writhing, dark heaviness that wasted no time to nourish lavishly: Devouring that rotted cavity.
Self-doubt is a demon strangling all of us given the chance to feed on our life’s energy. When the time of self-realization is finally striking the bells of a change to begin again the war on the self-doubt demon has already started. Let’s seal this force away before he wins again.
I can provide additional clarity.
If ideas (any and all) are being dismissed by the negative voices in your imagination, then you might be crazy. Do you like being out of control and helpless? What source of internal strength is better to perceive than a sword of light to cut through the self-doubt demon?
If it’s not yet time to achieve this level of energy, then here is a method to consider. Understand why levels of discomfort are affected by external forces. Perhaps it’s the chains of expectations that have weighed down whatever dreams that have become cloudy at this time. It’s different for everyone the social or familial (relating to family) story that repeatedly plays in the mind when it’s time to eliminate self-doubt.
Something that worked in my situation was hypnotherapy, sensory-deprivation tank “floating” for as long as possible, LISTENING to podcasts of shows that I like, letting go of the power of influence of people with intentions to hold me down, self-talk in the mirror (you are strong, you are beautiful, you can do this), lighting candles and watching as many documentaries about struggling with substance abuse such as the show Intervention from A&E. It’s not necessary to do any of these things because they may not work for everyone. I’m simply laying out some ideas that can rev-up your engines to start churning out on a piece of paper what could and will work for you.
Stop calculating the reasons why anything or sometimes why everything won’t work. I don’t care how difficult this process will be for you because I know you can do this. Stop it. Change it. Reverse it.
Control your energy and manage it into a significant force of self-improvement. Some people say, “Rise Above.”
Wasn’t the key to unlock world peace within the resulting changes of higher technology?
Isn’t now a great moment to see the shameful effects of allowing and investing attention toward what has been an endless emotional warfare throughout the threads of society? We have been forced to spend so much time absolutely on magnifying the complexities of how too many things seem to be unbearable within our borders and that one person with a problem can brainwash a larger number of people to assimilate and force attention to their issues which results in having to ignore the once thriving technological achievement-based solution to the impossible world peace plea?
This new century is a barbaric era of international crimes against humanity and so many violations of international human rights aren’t even on the minds of most USA people. The nation is instead battling each other and wasting resources that needed to be siphoned to those deserving people to help us rise together from strengthening the weak.
Could anything else be more important when someone in the mass discontent yells so loudly about something that we must pacify them? Well, our caring nation has thusly had to do so much damage control that we have ceased developing technology and commerce on both coastal tech genius hubs.
Wasn’t the key to unlock world peace within the resulting changes of higher technology?
Our nation had a way at one point to be the leader even if mostly in vain and conceptualized blind promises ahead. We had integrity to generate trust in our future of using tech to generate more justice in the streets where the worse things imaginable happen.
People with the passion to share their rage about some unsolved compromises are greater at success when tech accessibility eases the faults that bubble up from low economy.
Swindled by the distraction of the lower economy attacking and trying to find a way to penalize the benefits of higher economy–we are now at the end of claiming superpower status. Our reputation is just sort of an unfortunate cessation of tech development everyone once believed we could push through to lead the world peace industry. 2016 definitely seems impossibly and regrettably behind.
The contagious rage of loud voices amplifies the lack of general knowledge such as the fact that actually everyone suffers. The issues holding us in limbo of being such an inclusive melting pot is from the ingredients refusing to find harmony because we don’t actually want to congeal with each other because pride needs to separate how each person is unique and that if we really melted together we would cool down into a solid glob and that’s not actually what we want. The incapacity to present an admirable leader to clarify possible ways to bring about national peace probably won’t even happen before a bigger problem takes its place.
Apparently for the oppressed to show strength of coming together to find a reasonable and clear proposal of how they may need an intervening force unavailable within the communities to soothe them or use national rights and free law isn’t on the menu somehow. Yes it is true that violence and negativity seems to instigate change faster but then it’s really not the best way to go forward and people are still crying. We should be using these pleas of the discontent to decipher what is needed as an intervening force to be the great game changing pacifier to suckle. Someone will always have a reason to cry and not many people look inward or even at available platforms and process follow-through to find a way to the world shakes their head as we gave that had been stolen to force leaders to attend to magnifying the common problems here in the melting pot that still hasn’t congealed. with all ingredients incapable of harmonizing here we the USA on both coastal hubs of research and development suffer the consequences now of being very out of touch where we may have at one point been a leader in tech capable of competing with other world powers and we have to be at least four years behind in technological development. Life changing capabilities to expedite same day online to offline commerce is so radically unavailable. Development needs to happen here because national suffering and discomfort is still escalating. Tech is radically effective at solving problems of those unable to thrive previously. It’s a shame that we took the bait of trying to appease social injustice when there isn’t actually a way form the utopia that is in demand. The USA is very notorious for loudly and oppressively amplifying voices among us that do not offer strength of actual leadership. It would be so great to pacify the rage coming from the effects of a persistent and really terrible economy. How can we advocate for the importance of tech developers to be allowed to test the marketplace for the forthcoming tech revolution that is already spent time withering because everyone is still freaking out about drones. There are so many other terrifying tech things that the common person doesn’t know directs change seamlessly and we are stuck in our out of control social anxiety
It all started as a pimple or a mosquito bite on my arm. As my skin started dissolving from a bacterial infection, cellulitis, something was going wrong.
On the third day I walked down the street to the Urgent Care, but because I was not a card-holding member . . . later a shepherd noticed me to the ER.
48 hours later
I returned to the ER check-in counter with my hesitations but my name bracelet was printed after a totally dissociative round of questions that had been answered last time, as I eloquated in my head.
Damn, I’m never going to tell you about the Hospital Commune.
I’ll lend an ear generously. I admire people when they communicate with me even as strangers, some stories about their lives past and present. He said, “Dave! That’s right isn’t it, Dave?”
He was just like a friend and without making an awkward disbelieving smirk, I told him how great it was to meet him.
With a joint-rolling gesture it was totally cool, but I didn’t have any cigarettes to share. It turns out that he could smoke a cigarette crumble as far as the surface of the trash can and the area of the concrete and inside the potted plants covered in soil.
I’ve been there, sort of.
As time passed, I saw others do the same. Ask for a cigarette and then looking all over the place with different approaches to discover the tobacco.
Back to my friend–he made an argumentative question which I had to reply to with “No, I’ve never been a home owner, I’m always just a renter.”
Amazing, right? I pushed the small talk to keep his chin up because it was sort of an effort for him to reach out.
When I talk to transients in the daytime at different times of the day, the part about making a phone call on my iPhone came up, so I gave him a deal.
“if you STAY HERE, I will let you. . .”
“Would you dial it for me. .”
“. . .use my phone.”
‘. . .I don’t think I could manage, to tell you the truth.”
This was a challenge, and I already opened the keypad. The number went on with such a strange sequence. When he started talking in the leave a message voice my thoughts were very provoked because the message was for his dad.
I was right.
My heart strings were plucked as the sickly addict left a message on his distant father’s answering machine.